woke up today

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I woke up today and feel like I’ve almost had a change on heart. I don’t think I want to put myself through any more fertility treatments. I don’t like it and it scares me, and I’m tired of looking at my husband as a sperm bank instead of my lover and my best friend. I’m angry. I can’t believe that I have put so much time and energy into wishing my life away for something that just doesn’t seem to be attainable for me. I’m tired of looking at what I don’t have and I want to focus on what I do have. I have a great family and wonderful husband and some positively wonderful friends.

Here I have been boo whoing about this one little area of my life when there are people in this world that don’t even have anything to eat. I feel disappointed that I’ve been so mean to myself. I’d really like to learn how to love myself: fertile or not.

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