What if?

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What if I can’t have a baby? What if I never become a mom? I know five ladies right now that are pregnant, and one that lost a full-term baby right before Christmas. I sigh. What if this is God’s plan for me? I’m not so sure I can accept that right where I am right now. I have so much hope and some pretty high frustration about my situation. Having PCOS is such an involved health issue, and I’ve got all the signs and symptoms. It’s sad that I feel like my friends get tired of hearing me talk about it. I don’t feel like I can openly talk about the hurting in my heart with the people I care about. I know my husband and I can talk about it until we’re blue in the face. I don’t really know how to focus my energy on anything else. I’ve pretty much stopped “trying” and now I’d like to try to do something else to keep me busy.

How can I focus on anything else when I go to work and work with moms and new babies. I see a lot of messed up stuff, and yet I still have to make sure they have a “great stay.” Nothing makes me more angry than a woman who does drugs while she’s pregnant. That gets me real hot!!!!

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